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Self Care After Election loss
By Henry Odude.
Basically,
election stress doesn’t end on Election Day despite experiencing a sense
of relief when election ads stop dominating commercial breaks and your mailbox no
longer being flooded with fliers from local candidates.
In fact, your
distress might increase if your candidates didn’t win. You might feel panicked
about what’s going to happen to the economy or you might be worried about
health insurance changes and other policy overhauls.
Fortunately, here are steps you can take to stay mentally strong even when your
candidate didn’t win the election.
Accept the outcome
You don’t have
to agree with the election results to accept them. You can accept that it
happened without accepting that it was okay.
Acceptance is
important because it frees you up from thinking things like, “This shouldn’t have
happened,” and “More people should have
voted!”
Remember,
sometimes the candidates you want to win will get elected. Sometimes, they
won’t. Accept that the result is disappointing, scary, or downright
infuriating, but don’t waste time wishing things were different.
Look at the Facts
When you start imagining
catastrophic things happening, it can be helpful to back up for a minute and
look at the facts. What evidence do you have that whatever you’re thinking is
definitely going to come true? What are the chances that the things will be as
bad as you think?
Of course,
it’s important to be cautious about where you obtain your facts. If you get
them from only from news sources who have the same political views as you, you
might feel more overwhelmed. So rather than fuel your panic with information
you already know, take a look at facts from the other side.
Name Your Feelings
During
uncertain times, you will probably feel a lot of uncomfortable emotions. Simply
naming those feelings can be helpful. Research supports the idea that labeling
your feelings reduces their intensity.
When you put a name to your emotions, it helps your brain make a little more
sense of them. Of course, you might be feeling several emotions at once.
If
that’s the case, just try to name all the emotions you’re experiencing and you
might find that you automatically start to feel a little bit better.
Argue the Opposite
Whenever you
catch yourself thinking about how bad things are going to be, argue the
opposite. Here are some examples of questions to ask yourself:
- What’s something good that
could happen?
- How might things not be as bad
as you predict?
- What is something that could be
better for some people as a result of the election?
This exercise
isn’t about developing unrealistically positive predictions. Instead, it’s
about helping you see that there are many different possible outcomes. Opening
your eyes to more possibilities can help you see that your thoughts may be
exaggeratedly negative.
Limit Your Media
Consumption
Tuning into
the news or doing a little “doomscrolling”
might cause you to feel a little better for a second. You likely get a little
twisted relief when your beliefs about how awful things are get reinforced.
But reading, watching, and
hearing more bad news will ultimately cause you to feel worse. And it won’t do
anyone any good. The news isn’t going to change. And most of the headlines are
only going to fuel your anxiety and despair.
So limit
the amount of time you spend consuming news and be mindful of where you’re
getting your news from.
Stop Commiserating
You might be
tempted to contact your friends and family members who share your
disappointment to talk about how upset you feel. While acknowledging your
feelings to one another may initially help you gain some emotional support,
talking in more depth might actually backfire.
Whether you’re
the one sharing the worst case scenarios or you’re just listening to someone
who is dwelling on the negative, commiserating keeps you stuck in a
dark place.
Be proactive
about talking about other subjects. And if someone wants to keep talking about
how horrible life is going to be, explain how talking too much about dreadful
subjects isn’t helpful to you. It may feel uncomfortable at first to change the
subject (or even end the conversation), but ultimately, you’ll be doing
yourself and the other person a favor.
Focus On What
You Can Control
The fact is, you
cannot control the outcome of the election. Therefore, focusing on it will only
make you feel helpless.
Your
time is much better spent focusing on the things you can control—like how well
you take care of yourself, the subjects you talk about with other people, and
how you spend your time.
Focusing on your actions and your attitude will help you feel more in control
of your life, which is a key component to good psychological health.
Stop Debating on Social Media
People’s
political opinions are rarely changed by someone’s social media comments. And
arguing doesn’t necessarily show you’re a strong person who is willing to stand
up for what you believe in.
Instead, it
may show you’re willing to waste your time arguing with someone who probably
won’t care what you have to say. Keeping that in mind may help you resist the
urge to comment on posts you disagree with.
You might find
it helpful to mute certain friends, family members, or accounts who post a lot
of politically charged content. You might feel better when you aren’t exposed
to that type of content as much.
Take Care of Yourself
But the
key to reducing your stress is taking care of your body now. Sleeping a solid
eight hours, eating healthy food, and engaging in physical activities could do
wonders for how you feel.
Self-care
doesn’t have to involve meditation or yoga if you aren’t into those things.
Instead, it can be about finding the strategies that help you function at your
best.
Change Your Brain
Channel
When you find
yourself focusing on things that aren’t helpful—like how awful you think the
future is going to be—change the channel in your brain. Just telling yourself
to think about something else isn’t likely to work, however. The more you
remind yourself, “don’t think about that,” the more you likely you are to
perseverate on the negative.
The best way
to change the channel is to do something that distracts your brain for a
minute. Sometimes, physical activity helps. At other times, a quick change of
scenery does the trick.
Experiment
with different activities until you find what works for you. Just don’t allow
yourself to sit around making catastrophic predictions about the future.
Take Positive Action
While you
can’t change the outcome of the election, you can still take some sort of
positive action. You might take action that involves community service or
perhaps even fundraise for a future election.
Or, you might
decide to just do a kind deed. Send a letter to someone from your past telling
them you appreciate them. Or do a random act of kindness for a stranger.
This can help
you feel more positive about the world while also fighting of a sense of
helplessness and hopelessness.
What if things get worse?!
The political
climate can take a serious toll on your psychological well-being. If, despite
your efforts, you find yourself struggling to manage your mental health, reach
out to someone. Talking to a licensed mental health professional may
be the key to helping you feel better after your candidate loses the election.
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Comments
I felt you are talking to me in this one. Well thought Ekaroti
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